Ask a Librarian: Answers You Won't Get From Google: Science Friday

Just about all of the questions for this week's post are science-related. That's only fitting, since just yesterday I watched my nephew defend his doctoral thesis during a Zoom presentation. His topic? "Lend me some sugar: how plysacharides and pleomorphism drive the dissemination of a fungal pathogen." I don't understand it, either.

That fungal pathogen, by the way, is Cryptococcus neoformans. It will turn your brain into cottage cheese, basically, if you get it. The takeaway here is to beware of fungal pathogens. Just in case you were wondering.

And thanks to Pam, my favorite sister, for helping me answer this week's questions so that I could go for a hike.

The first question comes from "Unknown" in a reply to a recent blog post: "Do scientists like mutants?"

Thanks for asking, "Unknown." You could have asked our nephew Steven; he's a real scientist.  (This question actually comes from my brother, who, contrary to what I used to tell him when were kids, is not really an adopted mutant wombat).

Yes, scientists are big fans of mutants. Biologists especially like them, since mutations are key to natural selection. Beyond that, scientists in general like mutants, judging from The Big Bang Theory. The scientist characters on the show love comic books and science fiction and fantasy movies, and if you think about it, some of the best superheroes are mutants - especially the X-Men.

And, of course, there are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which combine all kinds of cool stuff: ninjas, turtles, and the names of Italian Renaissance painters. Many scientists wear Teenage Mutant Ninja underwear well into their twenties and thirties, which just goes to prove something, although I'm not sure what that might be.

Atticus wants to know, "How many ants have lived and died in the world?"

All of them.

Boone was also in a mood to count. His two questions: How many hydro flasks are in the world? How many grapefruit are there in the world?

It is tempting to give the same answer I did to Atticus: "All of them." However, the hydro flask question does bring up a chance to do some math, which is something that we here at "Ask a Librarian" are always happy to do.

Hydro flasks have been around for more than 10 years, but it seems like only recently that they've taken over. Walk into REI or Bob Wards and you can find a wall of hydro flasks in various sizes, from little 12 oz. containers to gallon-sized jugs.

Why the popularity? I don't know, but bright colors and a move away from plastic play a part. Weirdly enough, when some students see me sip chai from one of my hydro flasks, they ask, "Is that a hydro flask?" Apparently the distinctive logo and the words "hydro flask" aren't sufficient clues.

Once they've established that I do indeed have a hydro flask, they ask about VSCO girls. I finally broke down and looked up VSCO girls, but I left the site after about ten seconds; I was afraid I might get brain damage if I looked longer.

Now, to the question of how many hydro flasks are in the world. Simply take the number of people with disposable income who are likely to carry a water bottle - that's roughly 200 million people in the United States alone - multiply by 2.75 (the average number of hydro flasks owned by those who own hydro flasks), and you will have the answer.

(What, you thought I was going to do all the work? I have other things to do, you know, like make tea to put in my hydro flask.)

Kade was thinking about parrots: "Why can parrots mimic you when you use a small word like crackers?

Parrots would like to mimic us when we use large words, like "serendipity," "synecdoche," and "perspicacity," but they are shy about using words incorrectly and, alas, they never have access to dictionaries.

Adrian asks, "Why is ketchup called ketchup? And what is your favorite condiment?

We call ketchup, "ketchup," so that we don't confuse it with mustard, Heinz 57 sauce, Tabasco, salsa, chutney, and Worcestershire sauce, to name just a few.

My favorite condiment? In the category of sauces, Cholula hot sauce is the easy answer. Cholula goes on just about anything, except hot dogs and any kind of cereal and green salads. In the non-sauce category of condiments, I have to go with garlic-stuffed olives, although dill pickles are pretty darned tasty, too.

Our final question comes from Ronan, who also had food on his mind: "If you could close one fast food chain, due to disgusting food, what would you pick?"

This was the toughest question I've had in a couple of weeks. The problem is that most fast food chains serve disgusting food, but there is a part of me that occasionally has a craving for a Taco Bell burrito, a quarter pounder, or a pizza from Pizza Hut. The lure of fat and salt, I guess.

I would let all of those chains stay open, but White Castle would have to go. Until I looked it up, I thought that White Castle restaurants were a midwest and east coast franchise, but it turns out that even Missoula has one, at (I think) Southgage Mall. That might explain why malls are in trouble.

What's so disgusting about White House burgers? They call them "sliders," and they're square and small and have mostly onions. When I lived in Ohio, a friend told me about White Castle, how you ordered them by the bag, typically five sliders to the bag. They sold fries, too. The sliders were bland and greasy, the fries limp and soggy. I added White Castle to the list of things I didn't like about Ohio and dreamed of the day when my wife and I could move back west.

That's all for now. Check in later this week, when my nephew, Steven, will be my first official guest blogger!